Ebony’s Journal <3
09/23/2014
It feels a little stupid, but my individual therapist told me to start a journal to help relieve the heaps of anxiety i've got so here we are… lol im the only one reading this anyway I guess I’ll come back to you again soon journal
09/25/2014
I finally started volunteering at an animal shelter today! It's called Happy Paws! My therapist said it would be good for me because it might help my communication skills and help ease my anxiety, I hope he's right
09/26/2014
So far one of my fav animals has to be a Japanese bobtail named paisley
it's hard to pick a fav though they're so cute!
09/30/2014
math makes me so mad why do I have to take math it makes me fuckin nauseas literally I swear
10/01/2014
I'm gonna take my parents to the animal shelter today. Like of course they approved me volunteering there but they've never actually seen it really
10/03/2014
parents liked the animal shelter, it was fun! Got a little pug named Bouncy adopted. It was just the sweetest to see this little girl bounce with joy when her mom confirmed to her that they would adopt Bouncy.
10/04/2014
my back hurts fuck
10/05/2014
ive realized that I really don't have that much time before high school ends
like, I gotta decide what I wanna do with my life. ughhhhh it feels like so much pressure, only a year and a half left to decide
10/06/2014
I feel like I overthink small things
I definitely do that
10/08/2014
talked to my therapy group about feeling stressed about a career, I honestly do feel a lot better
won't write names in case someone finds this, but like one girl reminded me not to grow up too fast and just live in the moment with my animals
10/10/2014
I adopted a cat today!! his name is Miller! He's an American Short Hair and I love him very much
10/11/2014
I told my therapy group about Miller and they are very happy for me they think he sounds adorable! I am very excited to have miller
10/15/2014
You know I realized that I really like helping animals maybe I should get a job with that
is that jumping on that too fast? idk they make me very happy and i'm like idk
10/19/2014
you know what's fun
feeling pressure feeling better then feeling pressure again
like I don't know what I wanna do when I graduate high school but the other day I was like I kinda wanna work with animals and now i'm like what if I jumped to that too fast ugh
10/20/2014
the animal shelter makes me so happy
life and school and anxiety is so hard but like
getting animals adopted and caring for animals makes me very happy my therapist was right it is good for me :)
10/21/2014
I just had my period why is there more b l o o d wtf
10/21/2014
not sure if I should like, be concerned or not
10/22/2014
I'll watch to see if anything else of concern comes up
ahhhh but I don't wanna worry anyone i'mm sure i'm fine
10/26/2014
Ms. Bell asked if I wanna work at the animal shelter when i'm 18! eeee! yes!
10/30/2014
halloween tomorrow
I do not like halloween it always raises my anxiety
I'll just hug miller
10/31/2014
halloween surprise from my body im sick wooooo
my stomach hurts more than normal
11/02/2014
paper mâché project in zoology i'm doing a python cause we had to choose a reptile its fun, a good distraction from the fact that I think i've been dismissing irregular symptoms as normal
its fun to ignore serious life problems
11/10/2014
ugh I haven't felt like writing lately i've been a bit tired idk I sleep well tho maybe ill just sleep during pottery
11/19/2014
it hurts when miller sleeps on my stomach :(
he's willing to adapt though, sleeping on my chest still slightly aches so he's willing to drape across my legs good kitty
11/25/2014
my mom realized I've been using more pads then usual she asked me why and like I didn't wanna tell her but like
sorta had to
and now she wants to take me to the doctor
I'm fine it's not a big deal, but she says she is gonna book a doctors appointment soon
11/31/2014
told my therapist about what happened and he says that my mother is just trying to look out for me and like I know that but I don't wanna worry her
11/31/2014
I'm just gonna focus on how cute Miller is he is super adorable and I love him
12/29/2014
I got a book about cats for Christmas
and a stage 4 ovarian cancer diagnosis
01/11/2015
I really like the animal shelter
I've said this already but i feel like that shelter has really given me something stable and consistent and that's just really great to have
had
01/11/2015
so like my birthday is in February i'm turning 18 which means I can vote that's cool i've always wanted to do that I've always wanted to be important also I will finally be able to work at the animal shelter as an employee because ms. bell said when I turn 18 I can though I'm okay just being a volunteer I should try some macaroons I have always wanted to I also want to visit France it is a very pretty place
01/25/2015
im gonna fuckin die
like its not 100% but Jesus fuck fuck fuck this isn't fair
there are so many things I haven't done yet
I haven't graduated
I haven't gone to college
I haven't gone out of the country
I haven't had a boyfriend
I haven't gotten married
I haven't had a child
I haven't made a difference
god im just a kid
please don't kill me yet