--Self-Replicating Stuffed Cat-- --Memetic Cat Concept-- --Antimemetic Cat Concept-- --Infohazardous Plush-- SCP-XXXX
rating: +2+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid safe keter Juggernaut not dangerous, Malaysia yes? not even a physical item, guys stop arguing

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept within a standard storage locker within Storage Site-312. At no point should SCP-XXXX come in contact with anything resembling a plush toy. is to be kept within memetic storage locker 51 in Site-145. No personnel with a Cognitive Resistance Value (CRV) lower than 27.9 are to be assigned to SCP-XXXX. Personnel are encouraged to wear a blindfold while handling SCP-XXXX for safety measures. SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be kept within Bio-Site-39, Green Room 14. SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be placed in various plants within Green Room 14. Plants in Green Room 14 are to be tended to on a daily basis, and replaced upon death. No personnel with a Cognitive Resistance Value (CRV) lower than 27.9 are to be assigned to SCP-XXXX. No personnel are to enter Bio Site-39.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a plush toy depicting a pink cat (Felis catus) of an undetermined breed. SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties manifest when it comes in contact with anything resembling a plush toy any inorganic material, in the presence of a human being. Under these circumstances, inorganic material will transform into an item greatly desired by the person nearest to it. The person (designated SCP-XXXX-1) will be compelled to share SCP-XXXX's existence and "power" with others. which will become an exact copy of SCP-XXXX (designated SCP-XXXX-1 instances) upon contact. Instances of SCP-XXXX have been documented to retain SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties. SCP-XXXX is the shared delusion between personnel of Site-559 that an "SCP-CAT" exists within the database. Personnel of Site-559 have explained SCP-CAT to be "a plush pink cat toy which turns any inorganic material it touches into an exact copy of itself that retains the properties of the original." There is no evidence to an "SCP-CAT" or similar item document file; no personnel besides those of Site-559 recall such an anomaly.

As of current, two-hundred-and-thirty-four twenty-four one-thousand-three-hundred-and-nintey-one instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have been discovered and contained.

Director Atticus Charleston sighs, staring face to face with a hardly comprehensible document. It's just a self-replicating plush cat, he had previously thought. Clearly, not everyone agrees on that.


Foreword: The following is a discussion held by Site-559 Director Atticus Charleston regarding SCP-XXXX's containment file.

<Begin Log>

Director Charleston: So folks, the four of you in-front of me have each been assigned to SCP-XXXX. And, we have a problem regarding what to put in its documentation file.

Dr. Benjamin Black: The only problem is the fact that thing still has SCP status. It's hardly anomalous.

Dr. Malaysia Walker: [scoffs while rolling eyes] You're crazy. That thing is capable of ending the world.

Director Charleston: If I may have—

Researcher Emma Jay: How? The bloody thing doesn't even exist outside of conceptualization!

Dr. Walker: Then how come we have over a thousand of em?

Director Charleston: Folks, please stop—

Dr. Black: Please, we hardly have twenty.

Dr. Walker: Just like your IQ.

[Director Charleston slams his hands against the table.]

Director Charleston: STOP IT! Arguing isn't, and hasn't gotten us anywhere. We need to discuss the very likely possibility of SCP-XXXX being infohazardous, memetic, cognitohazardous, mind-affecting, or a combination of the like.

Researcher Chocolate: Examples?

Director Charleston: Well, I'm not entirely sure. We all see it differently, and refuse to believe any other theories have merit. That's pretty telling.

Dr. Walker: You're saying none of us are right? Is there a way to maybe test our theories?

Director Charleston: You could all be right. It might present itself differently per person. There's also the chance that none of you are right, and it doesn't even exist.

Researcher Jay: How come you're the only one who thought of this?

Director Charleston: Perhaps that's just how I see it. Now, we theoretically could test the theories of it physically existing. Walker, Black, Chocolate, you all listed different containment procedures. Let's put this meeting on hold, and you'll all go to where SCP-XXXX is stored, and bring it back tomorrow. Deal?

All three: Deal.

<End Log>


Foreword: The following is the continuation of the previous SCP-XXXX discussion.

<Begin Log>

Director Charleston: Afternoon everyone.

Researcher Jay and Dr. Walker: Afternoon.

Dr. Black: Hello.

Researcher Chocolate: [Nods.]

Director Charleston: I presume the three I asked have obtained SCP-XXXX?

[The three in question nod.]

Director Charleston: Walker, show me SCP-XXXX.

[Dr. Walker nods, reaching into her bag. She presents a pink sticky-note, which has a drawing of a cat on it.]

Dr. Black: That's a fucking kitten.

Dr. Walker: What? It's SCP-XXXX, like asked.

Researcher Chocolate: I see a cat coloring book.

Dr. Black: Am I the only one who heard it meow?

Researcher Jay: That's a dog plush.

Dr. Walker: Atticus? What do you see?

Director Charleston: A cat plush, but it's blue. Black, get SCP-XXXX.

[Dr. Black pulls SCP-XXXX from his lap, and sets it on the table.]

Researcher Jay: There's nothing there.

Researcher Chocolate: I still see a coloring book.

Dr. Walker: What the fuck?

Dr. Black: Now what are you freaking out about?

Dr. Walker: That's a whole taxidermied cat.

Researcher Chocolate: Director Charleston?

Director Charleston: I don't see anything. Okay, this isn't getting us anywhere.

Dr. Walker: Well what do you say we do now?

Director Charleston: We contain it.

Researcher Jay: How? This bugger looks different for each of us, as you said we don’t even know if it exists.

Director Charleston: We’ve contained stuff without a definite form before, and we’ll do it again. First order of business is agreeing on what to do.

Dr. Black: We could start with making it so no one else learns of it’s existence.

Dr. Walker: [Snaps fingers] That’s right! Only those exposed to the containment file have been “affected” so to say.

Researcher Chocolate: So lets raise the clearance level to level 4 access.

Researcher Jay: I’m only level 2, Walker and Black are 3.

Director Charleston: We’ll label it’s file as limited access, we’ll password lock it.

Dr. Walker: Good idea. Now that that’s decided, how are we gonna document it? Like, what are we gonna describe it as?

Researcher Chocolate: Concept?

Researcher Jay: I wouldn't say it's a concept.

Director Charleston: More of an infohazard.

Dr. Walker: A physical item that's the source of the properties could exist. It could be a visual cognitohazard as well.

Researcher Jay: But we don't have any proof of that.

Dr. Walker: Maybe we should bring a memetic specialist here.

Dr. Black: And expose another person to SCP-XXXX's affects? That's a bad idea.

Researcher Jay: Could be helpful.

Director Charleston: My husband works in memetics. I could ask for his opinion. But it might be hard to do that without accidentally revealing infohazardous information.

Researcher Chocolate: We definitely wouldn't want that.

Researcher Jay: I mean, I've talked to Jesse about the SCP and she didn't appear to be affected.

Director Charleston: So that would rule this being an infohazard out of the question, then. That's helpful.

Dr. Black: Site-559 is not a site that deals with memetics. We deal with artifacts and toys and all that fun stuff. I second that memetic specialist thing, now knowing that we can talk about it without exposing someone to the affects.

Dr. Walker: You just thought it was a bad idea. What changed in three minutes?

Director Charleston: I'm making the decision that we're not doing that. We really should just get this profile written as quickly as possible. I'll ask Julian for his opinion once we have this sorted out. I'm fairly certain this is a memetic hazard, or at least a mind-affecting cognitohazard.

Researcher Jay: What about the objects that we think are SCP-XXXX, and all perceive differently? Do we put those in memetic storage?

Director Charleston: I mean, yeah.

Dr. Black: Walker's was a kitten to me. It feels weird putting it in a locker.

Dr. Walker: It's not actually a kitten, Ben.

Dr. Black: Well I know th—

Director Charleston: Stop, I'm getting a headache. I'm putting it as a cognitohazardous concept. I'll work on the containment file, you all take a break.

<End Log>

The cursor on Atticus' screen blinks for what seemed like the millionth time, the bright computer screen becoming any eyesore against his dark office.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX cannot be contained as of current.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the antimemetic concept of a

Description: SCP-XXXX is a plush cat which holds memetic properties.

No, no. That isn't right. It's a concept. So why were all of the iterations sitting in his office?

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Nescio… Nesico… nihil.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX cannot be contained as of current.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the collective designation for multiple cognitohazards involving a plush cat.

Atticus slams his fist against his desk with a groan. "Why can't I decide what to put?" He exclaims. "I broke down the anomaly the best I could… yet nothing feels right…." He mutters to himself. The first iteration he attempted a few weeks ago, after three hours of typing and deleting he decided that he couldn't document it. Maybe the others could do it and be satisfied. That… backfired in unforeseeable ways. After the meetings, at last, he thought he understood how to document it.

It is no fault of his own that all documentation attempts have failed. After all, you cannot count to infinity.

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