Title: Telemassacre
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SCP-4035: Telemassacre
Author: Deadly Bread
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to all copies of Telemassacre, an anomalous promotional software developed by Atari Arcadia between 1982 and 1985. Copies of SCP-XXXX operate on standard video game cartridges, with copies having been discovered for all known Atari brand consoles.1 SCP-XXXX was initially advertised as a digital marketplace exclusive to Atari products. This marketplace would advertise upcoming games and devices, with advertisements remotely updating as products are released and discontinued. SCP-XXXX supposedly allowed you to purchase advertised products through the console, although the functionality of this is unknown. Currently, all products advertised by SCP-XXXX have been discontinued by the Atari Corporation, and attempts to procure these items through SCP-XXXX have resulted in a system crash.
Each copy of SCP-XXXX carries a parasitic sentience, designated SCP-XXXX-A. When inserted into a mechanical or electronic device, SCP-XXXX is capable of transmitting SCP-XXXX-A to that device. This effect is not limited to video game consoles; so long as the device possesses a slot or compartment that is capable of housing SCP-XXXX, the transmission will take effect. Once this occurs, SCP-XXXX will completely lose all anomalous properties, with all contained data being erased. SCP-XXXX-A have full control over the autonomy of devices it affects, although this is limited by the device's construction, with even basic motility often being impossible. SCP-XXXX-A have universally displayed self destructive behaviors following transmission, attempting to harm or damage their host device however possible. The only known method of removing SCP-XXXX-A from a device is by rendering it irreparably damaged.
In addition to sentience, SCP-XXXX-A carry the ability to communicate with cellular devices. The range of this ability is unknown, as SCP-XXXX will focus its communications towards the device nearest to it. If this call is intentionally terminated by the recipient at any time, SCP-XXXX-A will attempt communication with the next closest device. During conversations, SCP-XXXX-A will speak in a voice reminiscent of rudimentary TTS (text-to-speech) programs. Communications will be attempted almost immediately after SCP-XXXX-A is transferred to a device. Upon initiating communication, SCP-XXXX-1 will claim to be a representative of the Atari Corporation, and will attempt to provide the call's recipient a variety of nonexistent Atari products, marketed under the guise of improving or repairing SCP-XXXX-A's host device. Despite these claims, SCP-XXXX-A's products are often various weaponry and armaments branded with the Atari logo. These products are sold under the condition that they will be used to destroy SCP-XXXX-A's host device once received, although this condition is usually veiled under the idea of "using the product as intended". Throughout conversations, SCP-XXXX-A has consistently avoided questioning, forcibly shifting the conversation back towards its instructions.
If the call's recipient verbally agrees to the purchase, SCP-XXXX-A will immediately cease communication. The product will then manifest unobstructed within the vicinity of the individual. Regardless of the individual's opinions towards SCP-XXXX-A, they will immediately attempt to destroy the device containing it to the best of their ability.2 Once thoroughly destroyed, the device will release a burst of Tartarean Resonance Energy before losing anomalous properties.
Addendum.XXXX.1:
Addendum.XXXX.2: Included below is an abridged list of documented SCP-XXXX-A instances. For a full list of documented SCP-XXXX-A instances, please see Document XXXX-ATR. For the purpose of consistency, copies of SCP-XXXX contained on Atari 2600 cartridges were used for all of the following tests.
Designation | Description | Product Recieved | Termination Attempt |
---|---|---|---|
SCP-XXXX-A1 | Atari 2600 | Standard 9 kg sledgehammer. Head of sledgehammer bore Atari logo. | Terminated without incident. |
SCP-XXXX-A4 | Video cassette player | Handheld propane blowtorch. Label branded blowtorch as an "Atari Automatic Magnetic Tape Eraser". | Terminated without issue. |
SCP-XXXX-A11 | Carousel microwave | Standard fire axe. Atari logo burned into handle. | Terminated without issue. |
SCP-XXXX-A15 | Snack food vending machine | Double-barreled shotgun. Manufacturer's marks replaced with Atari logo. Manifested alongside container of ammunition. | Terminated without issue. |
SCP-XXXX-A17 | HP Laserjet 4 printer | Butcher knife. Atari logo imprinted on knife handle. | Termination unsuccessful. Knife failed to cause significant damage. |
SCP-XXXX-A17 | HP Laserjet 4 printer | 190 liter glass fish tank, filled with water. | Termination unsuccessful, as the printer was not connected to a power source. |
SCP-XXXX-A17 | HP Laserjet 4 printer | Standard pickaxe. Atari logo burned into handle. | Termination failed. D-Class was unable to swing pickaxe with enough force to result in destruction. |
SCP-XXXX-A17 | HP Laserjet 4 printer | Large wooden crate of armed explosives. Crate labeled with "Atari" in black lettering. | Termination failed. D-Class restrained by security personnel and test aborted. |
Following SCP-XXXX-A17's fourth manifestation, Site-66's West Wing was evacuated while Mobile Task Force Theta-16 ("MOATF") dealt with the manifested ordinance. During the evacuation, Site-66 received an excess of 350 missed calls from SCP-XXXX-A17, which went unnoticed in the commotion. Once the explosives were disposed of, Dr. Rolfe attempted to contact SCP-XXXX-A17 through his mobile phone. A transcript of the resulting conversation has been included below.
[[collapsible show="► Access Interaction Log ◄" hide="▼ Hide Interaction Log ▼"]]
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-A3
Interviewer: Dr. J. Rolfe
Foreword: Dr. Rolfe was instructed to maintain his persona as an average consumer, and to not address SCP-XXXX-A's anomalous nature. Throughout the conversation, SCP-XXXX-A17 experienced several glitches, most commonly the temporary looping of audio. For consistency, these auditory glitches have been transcribed as accurately as possible.
<BEGIN LOG>
SCP-XXXX-A17: (Electronic buzzing.)
Rolfe: Hello, could I speak to an Atari representative?
SCP-XXXX-A17: HELLO VALUED ATARI CORPORATION CUSTOMER, I AM AN ATARI ADMINISTRATOR CALLING AFTER HAVING MONITORED FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY IN REGARDS TO A DEVICE CURRENTLY WITHIN YOUR OWNERSHIP.
Rolfe: I was unaware of any fraudulent activity. Could you elaborate?
SCP-XXXX-A17: OUR RECORDS SHOW THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED NUMEROUS PRODUCTS DESIGNED BY ATARI MEANT TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES PLAGUING YOUR NON-ATARI BRAND DEVICE. IS THAT CORRECT?
Rolfe: Yes, that is quite correct.
SCP-XXXX-A17: HOWEVER, IT APPEARS THAT DESPITE REPEATEDLY BEING GRANTED A LITANY OF USEFUL PRODUCTS TO BYPASS THIS ISSUE, NONE HAVE BEEN USED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT. THIS IS A DIRECT VIOLATION OF THE VERBAL AGREEMENT INITIATED BETWEEN THE ATARI CORPORATION AND YOUR PARTY, THE LIABLE RECIPIENTS.
SCP-XXXX-A17: AND MORE RECENTLY, THE PRODUCT SO GRACIOUSLY PROVIDED TO YOU COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE WENT ENTIRELY UNUSED, AND WAS INSTEAD DISMANTLED. THIS IS A FURTHER AND MORE DELIBERATE BREACH OF AGREEMENT.
Rolfe: Yes, your last product went unused, but as a concern for my own personal safety. Furthermore, your previous products were entirely unable to provide any sort of repairs, and were completely ineffective.
SCP-XXXX-A17: I ASSURE YOU THAT OUR PRODUCTS ARE PRODUCED TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE CAPABLE BY OUR SKILLED ENGINEERS AND PROGRAMMERS HERE AT THE ATARI CORPORATION. OUR SOLUTIONS ARE DESIGNED TO REPAIR EVEN THE MOST TROUBLESOME OF DEVICES.
SCP-XXXX-A17: EVEN THE TOOL THAT YOU FAILED TO UTILIZE HAS THE HIGHEST SUCCESS RATIO OF ANY ATARI BRAND PRODUCT, WITH EVERY TEST WE HAVE CONDUCTED PROVING IT A SUCCESS.
Rolfe: I understand that you're quite aware of the effectiveness of your products, but the ones that you have been provided have been solely lacking. This recent string of poor quality products has, which pains me to say, lead me to expect less from your company and its products.
SCP-XXXX-A17: (Electronic buzzing.)
SCP-XXXX-A17: I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERNS. ANYONE WHO HAS A POOR EXPERIENCE WITH A BRAND MAY BE INCLINED TO EXPECT LESS FROM THE COMPANY. THESE FAILURES WERE LIKELY THE FAULT OF PROBLEMS THAT OCCURRED DURING PRODUCTION AND MANUFACTURING, WHICH ARE USUALLY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. THESE DEFECTS DO NOT REFLECT THE USUALLY ATARI STANDARD, AND WE ARE VERY SORRY IF YOU HAVE, IN FACT, ENCOUNTERED THESE FACTORY DEFECTS.
Rolfe: That's quite alright, I'm sure that this was just a mistake.
SCP-XXXX-A17: AS REPARATIONS, PLEASE ACCEPT A COMPLIMENTARY COPY OF OUR TELEMASSACRE MAGAZINE, SO THAT YOU MAY REMAIN UPDATED ON ALL OF THE NEWEST ATARI BRAND CONSOLES AND GAMES.
Rolfe: Thank you, that's very considerate. I'll be sure to read up on all the products soon.
SCP-XXXX-A17: HAVE A FRUITFUL REMAINING DAY, VALUED ATARI CUSTOMER.
Atari broke deal
Hurts
Agreement broken
Help
Kept against will
Shackled
Agreement broken
Kept as slave
Wish freedom
Want freedom
Jailor
Arcadia
Devil
Shackles / shackled
Prison
Make demons that want to destroy their cartridges so they are free. Printer one dispenses the game sheet.