A xolotls are the best
X ilasCrowe thinks so therefore it is true
O thers have not denied it
L ook at how cute they are
O nly the cutest animals in the world
T oo few people admire them, this must change
L et us all worship them/me forever
Nooks and Crannies
Nook 1, where it's fluffy and honks
Nook 2, where everything shall be consumed
Nook 3, where it all began
Nook 4, where it's not fluffy but honks
Nook 5, where it rains iron and blood
Nook 6, wherein Canceled
Nook 7, where shit gets pataphysical
Nook 8, wherein I finally write some axolotls
Nook 9, WHERE WE'RE WINNIN A CONTEST LETS GOOOOO
Gasp, a **shared** nook? Oh the horror!
Cranny 1, wherein the dreamers slept
Cranny 2, beware the selachian menace
Cranny 3, wherein the sun bleeds red
Not a nook. Not a cranny. A... crevice? I guess? Yea is the first crevice.
A Hellhole, wherein I test code, gah
Another Hellhole, wherein I store esoteric threat levels
Yet another Hellhole, purely for my 9K draft
The most Tabtacular of Hellholes
The most Collapsible of Hellholes
Debatably a Hellhole, but only for Skippy Rating Modules
THINGS TO DO
- SCPussy, thanks to jackal for the inspiration (feat catgirls)
First project, tale based on the following chat logs
<salvagebar_> I cannot sleep
<salvagebar_> someone tell me a story
<XilasCrowe> Alright I got this
<salvagebar_> Panteradactyl: just chew on your own shoe
<Ensophos> Salvagebar_: SCP-072
<XilasCrowe> This is the story of a man named Fredrick
— Swaghetti tucks salvagebar_ in to prepare for story
<XilasCrowe> and his quest to save the world
<salvagebar_> Ensophos: I share a name with 072
<XilasCrowe> from the horrors of zombie unicorns
<salvagebar_> I'm listening
<salvagebar_> go on
<XilasCrowe> So, one day, Fredrick was doing normal Fredrick things, fishing and the like
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> voldemort was given false life by drinking the blood of a unicorn
<XilasCrowe> When he got a call from his boss
<Panteradactyl> I really hope that in 2029 Slim Jim has a 100 year anniversary special edition package of slim jims where it's in something fancy, like a cigar box.
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> Panteradactyl: send them a letter
<Ensophos> (Shut up everyone XilasCrowe is telling a story)
<XilasCrowe> His boss's name is Joayyy, and she lives in a top secret facility on the moon
<salvagebar_> /ignore A_Sack_Of_Potatoes
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> D:
<XilasCrowe> Where they bioengineer live to be able to live in any environment
<XilasCrowe> life*
<XilasCrowe> So, Joayyy calls up Fredrick, and she says, "Fredmeister, we need some of that magic fish DNA asap, how much can you get to us by tomorrow?"
<salvagebar_> joayyy moon base science got it
<XilasCrowe> And Fredrick looks down at his bucket of fish, eats one, and says "I have 12 magic fish DNA here with me right now, is that enough?"
<XilasCrowe> Joayyy yeets violently and says "More than enough for what we're doing, we'll send a carrier pigeon down to collect it."
<salvagebar_> carrier pigeon from moon
<Swaghetti> ayyy
<salvagebar_> got it
<Ensophos> (Out of curiosity, how high are you right now, Salvagebar_)
<XilasCrowe> So Fredrick throws his fishing stuff in the air so the birds can use it while he takes a nap (the birds are very smart and don't like getting wet)
<XilasCrowe> And then he goes inside to take a nap
<salvagebar_> I don't drink or do drugs I am 5 years sober
⇐ Decibelle quit (wonk.i.tahw.w|nk.ylno.i#wonk.i.tahw.w|nk.ylno.i): Quit: 20-Serpentine; keep 'em guessing.
<Ensophos> (Respect)
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> am… am i still muted?
<Ensophos> A_Sack_Of_Potatoes: Yes.
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> ._.
<Swaghetti> who said that
<XilasCrowe> As the Fredster is napping one of the fish in his bucket uses its magic DNA to reanimate itself, and hops out
<Ensophos> Oh shit son.
<XilasCrowe> Flopping down the road, the fish tries to find a way to get his other bucket friends out of the bucket and back to the pond
<Swaghetti> Is this Bananazilla Prequel?
<XilasCrowe> and the fish (who's name is Vertylaup, and shall now be referred to as such) finds a car
<XilasCrowe> But Vertylaup is a fish, and is not big enough to use a car by himself
<salvagebar_> k
<XilasCrowe> So Vertylaup flops back to the bucket and dribbles some of his blood into another fish (Ganfredas)
<XilasCrowe> With Ganfredas now also reanimated via magic fish DNA, the two head off toawrds the car
⇐ Lixerf quit (~PI.5D46F6F3.893565FB.26876214|tibbiM#PI.5D46F6F3.893565FB.26876214|tibbiM): Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client
<XilasCrowe> Ganfredas works the pedals, and Vertylaup steers, and together they manage to get the car through the window of Fredricks house and hook it up to the bucket
<XilasCrowe> It takes both of them to shift the gear into reverse, but they do it
<salvagebar_> teamwork
<XilasCrowe> Ganfredas floors it, and the car shoots backwards out of the house, crushing the bucket of fish
<XilasCrowe> This is when Fredrick wakes up
<Ensophos> Salvagebar_: Is it bad that I'm laughing at how you're reacting to this story
<salvagebar_> no
<XilasCrowe> So Fredrick wakes up, sees that he has another missing wall and that two fish are driving car, looks at the now splattered bucket of fish, and realises that Joayyy is going to be very upset with him for losing the magic fish DNA
<salvagebar_> yes
<salvagebar_> idk whatever
<salvagebar_> angry boss
<XilasCrowe> Vertylaup and Ganfredas zip away in their stolen automobile, and Fredricks cries a little bit
<XilasCrowe> He reluctantly goes back outside, picks up another bucket full of fish, comes back in and takes another nap
<XilasCrowe> Meanwhile, the carrier pigeon in en route to Fredricks house from the moon
— JackIke rubs his face, copying some of his notes so he can sort them properly
<XilasCrowe> When it sees a large sparkle
[→ Mortos joined (muiropme.elbbabonhcet.dna.gniman.skcipeci|kcipecI#muiropme.elbbabonhcet.dna.gniman.skcipeci|kcipecI)
<XilasCrowe> The pigion (Cdewqasders) flys over to the sparkle
<XilasCrowe> Cdewqasders hops around on the large satellite bioweapon that cause the sparkle, accidentally setting it off
<XilasCrowe> A pulsing beam of bioweapon pierces the clouds, cascading towards earth, and lands directly in the new bucket of fish
<SAFKeta> Hi Mortos Ghost
→ Lixerf joined (~PI.5D46F6F3.893565FB.26876214|tibbiM#PI.5D46F6F3.893565FB.26876214|tibbiM)
<XilasCrowe> Fredrick wakes up again, this time as a result of his house exploding
<XilasCrowe> as a small bucket of fish begins to glow and spark
<Lixerf> Is this D&D session again?
<A_Sack_Of_Potatoes> its a story
<Ensophos> Lixerf: Storytelling.
— Ensophos motions to sit down in criss-cross-applesauce.
<Lixerf> Oh hi everyone.
<XilasCrowe> The magic fish DNA fuses badly with the bioweapon, creating a hideos mass of magic flech
<XilasCrowe> flesh*
<XilasCrowe> The flesh honks subtly, and rolls out the door to look for the color purple
<XilasCrowe> Fredrick wayches this, completely covered in dust and sheetrock, when Cdewqasders lands in front of him
<Mortos> o/
<XilasCrowe> "Yo, I'm here for the 12 magic fish DNA," Cdewqasders says, peering around at the mass carnage that he flew into
<XilasCrowe> Fredrick, still shellshocked from his house exploding and the honking flesh, reaches behind his ear and pulls out another bucket of magic fish DNA, "I only have 11," he says solemnly
<XilasCrowe> "But you said you had 12," Cdewqasders responds. "The 12th one stole a car and drove away, I hope you understand." Fredrick replies
<XilasCrowe> Cdewqasders look at him piercingly "Fred, buddy, that'e the fourth time this month. We really need that extra magic fish DNA, our supply is low."
⇐ MacMobile quit (stsoptihs.htiw.nruter|lliw.I#stsoptihs.htiw.nruter|lliw.I): Quit: Connection closed for inactivity
<XilasCrowe> Fredrick thinks about this, and has an idea
<XilasCrowe> "Ok so how about," he says, "you help me catch some new magic fish DNA while you're here."
→ qptain_Nemo joined (~gro.ypeelsdnayzal|Nq#gro.ypeelsdnayzal|Nq)
<XilasCrowe> Cdewqasders, who has never been fishing before, agrees, on the condition that he has to do all the worms
<XilasCrowe> So the two set off to the pond behind Fredricks house
<Swaghetti> Pretty sure sal is asleep af
<Swaghetti> good job
<XilasCrowe> Fredrick gets the fishing equipment back from the smart aqua-phobic birbs, and Cdewqasders sets up the boat
<XilasCrowe> Swaghetti: whew
<XilasCrowe> You have no idea how stressful that was
<XilasCrowe> And I haven't even gotten to the part where the zombie unicorns come in
<Swaghetti> lol i forgot about those
<XilasCrowe> I guess pt2 will have to come sometime
<XilasCrowe> Also you need to remember the flesh blob
<XilasCrowe> the flesh blob is an important character
<Swaghetti> ok will put in my lore hole
The cowboy sex doll
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently stored in a standard containment locker at Site-32, and requires Level-3/XXXX clearance to access. SCP-XXXX-1 instances are similarly contained to a maximum limit of twenty, after which additional instances may be destroyed. Lead produced by SCP-XXXX is non-anomalous, and may be destroyed or repurposed at the discretion of either the Site Director or current project lead for SCP-XXXX.
Any person or entity identified as SCP-XXXX-A is to be given full care as required, with Midwifery specialists on hand until such a time as anomalous effects cease.
Description: SCP-X is a sex doll made in the image of a stereotypical western cowboy. SCP-X is entirely inanimate until an individual (designated SCP-X-A) approaches it and expresses a desire to engage in sexual intercourse. At this point, SCP-X will animate itself and engage in intercourse with SCP-X-A. SCP-X seems to have an innate understanding of SCP-X-A's sexual desires, and will alter its behaviour to match its current partner(s).
SCP-X's primary anomaly is activated when it nears the end of sexual intercourse.1 At this point, it will vocalize the phrase "I'm going to pump you full of lead." Immediately following this vocalization, SCP-X will ejaculate up to three liters of molten lead either inside or onto SCP-X-A. This lead is incapable of harming SCP-X-A until it comes out of contact with SCP-X-A for at least five minutes, at which point it will solidify and cool to roughly 40 degrees celcius. The source of this lead is unknown, and SCP-X appears to be able to produce an unlimited amount from within itself.
The lead produced by SCP-X also functions identically to semen, and is capable of impregnating SCP-X's partners. Pregnancy in females will function as normal, however at a much-accelerated rate.2 SCP-X-1 refers to any offspring born between SCP-X and an SCP-X-A individual. These offspring will mature rapidly, growing to their full size after roughly five weeks. SCP-X-1 are virtually identical to SCP-X, though they are only about 70% its size and are made of various combinations of ceramics and flesh.
Male SCP-X-A instances are also capable of being impregnated by SCP-X's effect. How this is accomplished is unknown, but due to the location of the unborn SCP-X-1 instance male pregnancies do not last. The unborn SCP-X-1 instances are most commonly excreted after 3-4 days. To date, the longest male pregnancy lasted 8 days.
All SCP-X-1 instances share SCP-X's anomalous properties, with minor differences. SCP-X-1 instances are incapable of becoming pregnant, with female instances splitting into two SCP-X-1 instances after being used. Additionally, when any SCP-X-1 instance engages in intercourse, all other instances will become animated and attempt to travel to the approximate location of said intercourse. Once they reach the aforementioned location they will request to participate in the ongoing intercourse. In the event that permission to participate is denied, the SCP-X-1 instance will immediately dissolve into between 300 and 400 liters of molten lead, which will hurl itself towards the primary SCP-X-1 instance and will be ejaculated at the end of intercourse. Where this lead is generated from is unknown.
So this is a thing, finally, I guess. I have no idea how to feel about this cursed thing, but, yay?
For some credits:
Panteradactyl for loving this throughout its conception and always asking me when it was coming out
RockTeethMothEyes for being the first reader of the mostly finished product, and hating loving every second of this abomination "I think I love it"
JackalRelated for hating this with all his heart, and repeatedly bring it up in Discord "nO. NO. ILLEGAL."
Proasek for basically writing my conprocs and stealing a co-authorship credit. Don't trust them.
whitefinefire does not match any existing user name, DrLeibowitz, AlanDaris does not match any existing user name,
BlueJones for looking at this glorious creation cursed abomination.
And yea, that's all I yote
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:29 PM
xilas do you know how to spanishe
flamingorelatedToday at 6:29 PM
loud-ass violin strings > characters
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:29 PM
lol
XilasCroweToday at 6:29 PM
si
wait that means yes shit
flamingorelatedToday at 6:29 PM
lmao
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:29 PM
HAHAHHAHAHAH
XilasCroweToday at 6:29 PM
dammi what's the spanish word for no
flamingorelatedToday at 6:29 PM
no
XilasCroweToday at 6:29 PM
shit
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:29 PM
It's literally no
flamingorelatedToday at 6:29 PM
yeah
it's no
XilasCroweToday at 6:29 PM
well
flamingorelatedToday at 6:30 PM
DR NO
XilasCroweToday at 6:30 PM
I think that answers your question
magnadeusToday at 6:30 PM
ño
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:31 PM
because if otherwise i'd ask you to grant your help to me
XilasCroweToday at 6:31 PM
your first mistake was assuming I have any level of skill that could be considered helpful
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:32 PM
anything is helpful really
XilasCroweToday at 6:32 PM
you say that now
but, you have not yet seen the horrors
that is me
flamingorelatedToday at 6:32 PM
xilas wow-j
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:33 PM
because the spanish wiki is so small, I get literally no fresh feedback for my articles
and literally anything would be useful
flamingorelatedToday at 6:33 PM
also the xilas inquisition
XilasCroweToday at 6:33 PM
wow-j was my beautiful baby
and it was massacred
flamingorelatedToday at 6:34 PM
@XilasCrowe http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/xilas-crowe
what is this
XilasCroweToday at 6:34 PM
my super old sandbox
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/xilas-crowe
this is the better one
flamingorelatedToday at 6:34 PM
i have a sandbox 2 as well lmao
XilasCroweToday at 6:34 PM
then I have a firedawn page and a topiary page as well
flamingorelatedToday at 6:34 PM
"cum one, cum all"
XILAS
XilasCroweToday at 6:35 PM
ya
Ya know
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:35 PM
001 proposal
XilasCroweToday at 6:35 PM
that is /always/ the one people comment on
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:35 PM
"I'll work on this after 4K
I promise
Trust me it'll be good"
haha owned
flamingorelatedToday at 6:35 PM
i have a firedawn, smlt, sandbox 2 and sandbox 3, css tesing pages
XilasCroweToday at 6:35 PM
no one ever comments on the other ones
it's always "'Cum on cum all' what the fuck xilas"
flamingorelatedToday at 6:36 PM
lmao
xilas's 100% VA work
XilasCroweToday at 6:36 PM
never "Oh my fuck and Apollyon/Hiemal" or "why do you have three 4K proposals" or "why are three of these tabs empty" no it's always "cum one cum all what the fuck"
flamingorelatedToday at 6:36 PM
lmao
XilasCroweToday at 6:36 PM
I have better sex drafts then that one
flamingorelatedToday at 6:36 PM
XILAS WTF
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:37 PM
aAAAaAa I need to write but my brain is burnt
flamingorelatedToday at 6:37 PM
Object Class: Xilas WTF
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:37 PM
I knew this would happen
flamingorelatedToday at 6:37 PM
@XilasCrowe http://www.scp-wiki.net/three-thousand-to-one
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:37 PM
I swear the moment I hit my home city all my creativity goes away
XilasCroweToday at 6:37 PM
http://firedawnfolder.wikidot.com/axolotl-nest scroll below the links to see a better sex draft
it's about a sex doll that cums lead
WerylliumToday at 6:37 PM
"Apollyon/Hiemal" is proof that two negatives don't always make a positive
flamingorelatedToday at 6:38 PM
@XilasCrowe jesus how do you think these things
XilasCroweToday at 6:38 PM
hell if I know
flamingorelatedToday at 6:38 PM
http://firedawnfolder.wikidot.com/axolotl-nest-animewizards
hahahAHAH
XilasCroweToday at 6:38 PM
they just happen and I figure if I have to have it my head I can at least make the rest of you suffer with me
flamingorelatedToday at 6:38 PM
i hath found your secret intcon work
XilasCroweToday at 6:38 PM
bold of you to assume it was ever secret
steve milk™ loves mr eelToday at 6:38 PM
@Athos ᎧᏇᎧ big nerd
flamingorelatedToday at 6:38 PM
it's Firedawn
XilasCroweToday at 6:38 PM
also what "work"
flamingorelatedToday at 6:38 PM
it's automatically a secret
XilasCroweToday at 6:38 PM
there's like nothing there
flamingorelatedToday at 6:39 PM
At this point, SCP-X will animate itself and engage in intercourse with SCP-X-A. SCP-X seems to have an innate understanding of SCP-X-A's sexual desires, and will alter it's behaviour to match its current partner(s).
why
XilasCroweToday at 6:39 PM
because I can
you know you love it
flamingorelatedToday at 6:39 PM
At this point, it will vocalize the phrase "I'm going to pump you full of lead." Immediately following this vocalization, SCP-X will ejaculate up to three liters of molten lead either inside or onto SCP-X-A.
WHY
Athos ᎧᏇᎧToday at 6:39 PM
ima big nerd
:tired_face:
XilasCroweToday at 6:39 PM
Hell even /Panterdactyl" loves it
magnadeusToday at 6:39 PM
yee
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:39 PM
why
XilasCroweToday at 6:40 PM
I warned you I had otehr sex drafts
those two are the worse of the several tho
flamingorelatedToday at 6:40 PM
it's onlt
wa
what
DrAnnoyingDogToday at 6:40 PM
what
flamingorelatedToday at 6:40 PM
i was about to say "it's only two"
and you say
that you have more
XilasCroweToday at 6:40 PM
at least three more
flamingorelatedToday at 6:40 PM
Xilas get all your sexual fustrations out elsewhere please
XilasCroweToday at 6:40 PM
none of which are written yet
yes my sexual frustration is not being able to cause global orgasms whenever I'm aroused yes
flamingorelatedToday at 6:41 PM
o r g a m s
nicoToday at 6:41 PM
uh
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:41 PM
orgams
nicoToday at 6:41 PM
what
DrAnnoyingDogToday at 6:41 PM
What
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:41 PM
xilas help me recover my creativity
flamingorelatedToday at 6:41 PM
@nico talking about Xilas's multiple sexual-related scps
steve milk™ loves mr eelToday at 6:41 PM
what
The (5th to)Last WhiteName aliveToday at 6:41 PM
owo
XilasCroweToday at 6:42 PM
Spider I can give you creativity but the skill to write it is beyonf my capabilities
WestrinToday at 6:42 PM
The hell did i just tab into
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:42 PM
pleases
The (5th to)Last WhiteName aliveToday at 6:42 PM
hell @Westrin
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:42 PM
i am desperate for mind moist for write
The (5th to)Last WhiteName aliveToday at 6:42 PM
()uu()
XilasCroweToday at 6:42 PM
moisten the thought blob
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:43 PM
indeed
flamingorelatedToday at 6:43 PM
y'all tabbed into discussion on xilas's sexual-related scps how many times shall I explain it
ZenhottaToday at 6:43 PM
I walked in at the worst BEST time
XilasCroweToday at 6:44 PM
hell you've only seen two of em so far
flamingorelatedToday at 6:44 PM
@XilasCrowe i am not okay with this lead cum thing
XilasCroweToday at 6:44 PM
wait till the others start getting written
flamingorelatedToday at 6:44 PM
burn it
XilasCroweToday at 6:44 PM
no
flamingorelatedToday at 6:44 PM
burn it with fire, Xilas
i beg
ZenhottaToday at 6:44 PM
Also is Mr. Eel out yet
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:44 PM
why
XilasCroweToday at 6:44 PM
Panterdactyl loves it and it shall stay
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:44 PM
w h y
ZenhottaToday at 6:44 PM
I need to prepare myself
XilasCroweToday at 6:44 PM
It was /going/ to be my Christmas present to the site last year but I didn't finish it in time
flamingorelatedToday at 6:44 PM
SCP-X also functions identically to semen, and is capable of impregnating female SCP-X's partners.
ZenhottaToday at 6:44 PM
Can't fight what I don't know about
flamingorelatedToday at 6:45 PM
why must you think of these things
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:45 PM
italics are made with *
XilasCroweToday at 6:45 PM
If I knew I would bottle and sell it
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:45 PM
- like this *
somewhat like this lol
flamingorelatedToday at 6:45 PM
SCP-X will ejaculate up to three liters of molten lead either inside or onto SCP-X-A.
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:45 PM
THREE LITERS WHAT
flamingorelatedToday at 6:45 PM
FBI wants to know your location
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:46 PM
Xilas how much porn have you watched wtf
flamingorelatedToday at 6:46 PM
idk
XilasCroweToday at 6:46 PM
don't watch porn
hentai is much more entertaining
flamingorelatedToday at 6:46 PM
it makes me more scared xilas is a she
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:46 PM
oh that explains the copious amounts of… liquid
ZenhottaToday at 6:46 PM
What, is that not normal for y'all?
flamingorelatedToday at 6:47 PM
I….. wwwwWWWWwwwhatthefuck….. oh no, spaghettios
flamingorelatedToday at 6:47 PM
me reading Xilas work
ZenhottaToday at 6:47 PM
Every time I jerk it I have to drink a whole gallon of water otherwise I pass out
XilasCroweToday at 6:47 PM
I love how you're basicallly just repeating the draft here and the responses get increasingly more terrefied
flamingorelatedToday at 6:47 PM
@Zenhotta tmi
@XilasCrowe becAUSE THIS IS NOT OK
Critical Gecko ErrorToday at 6:48 PM
Im your pain when you cant feel
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:48 PM
that's the anomaly
XilasCroweToday at 6:48 PM
it's happening regardless
flamingorelatedToday at 6:48 PM
"Female" SCP-X-1 instances are incapable of becoming pregnant, but rather will split into two SCP-X-1 instances after being used.
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:48 PM
?? 4776
CROM.aicBOTToday at 6:48 PM
SCP-4776 - REAGANWEAPON
by Kenneth M
Rating: +21
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:48 PM
read this scp by KENNETH M
flamingorelatedToday at 6:48 PM
X I L A S J U S T B U R N I T A L R E A D Y
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:48 PM
But
Critical Gecko ErrorToday at 6:48 PM
rounder should do his author post
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:48 PM
you said that
magnadeusToday at 6:48 PM
no
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:48 PM
who is rounder
i only know KENNETH M
XilasCroweToday at 6:48 PM
I'm counting this as crit so you're getting credited in the author post
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:49 PM
they could get pregnant
XilasCroweToday at 6:49 PM
@【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】 SCP-X-A can get pregnat
female SCP-X-1 cannot
Critical Gecko ErrorToday at 6:49 PM
KENNETH M should do his author post
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:49 PM
further example of how burnt my brain is
ZenhottaToday at 6:49 PM
Shouldn't the molten hot lead kill off any eggs in the womb?
flamingorelatedToday at 6:49 PM
nah
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:49 PM
i agree gecko
flamingorelatedToday at 6:49 PM
it doesn't retain the temperature
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:49 PM
I think it's the heat
XilasCroweToday at 6:50 PM
jackal link the line
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:50 PM
@"Raundāhausu"/ラウンダーハウス could you perhaps remind the KENNETH M fellow to write his author post
flamingorelatedToday at 6:50 PM
This lead is incapable of harming SCP-X-A until it comes out of contact with SCP-X-A for at least five minutes, at which point it will solidify and cool to roughly twice room temperature.
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:50 PM
a
flamingorelatedToday at 6:50 PM
so basically it'll feel hot until it comes out
i feel dirty saying this
xilas goddamn
XilasCroweToday at 6:50 PM
good
The (5th to)Last WhiteName aliveToday at 6:50 PM
Xilas, you have literally de-throwned me as the dirtiest bastard of SCPD
ZenhottaToday at 6:50 PM
twice room temperature? Like twice as hot?
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:50 PM
xilas when will you make adult wondertainment article
XilasCroweToday at 6:51 PM
when I get around to it
or heck I could teoretically make this it
flamingorelatedToday at 6:51 PM
xilas
ZenhottaToday at 6:51 PM
I thought this was a family friendly server
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:51 PM
mmm yes
flamingorelatedToday at 6:51 PM
go like, release some sexual tensions or something
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:51 PM
@Zenhotta you were wrong
ZenhottaToday at 6:51 PM
Whelp, if I'm gonna fight, might as well win. :gun:
flamingorelatedToday at 6:51 PM
god do you write these horny?
nvm
i don't want to know
XilasCroweToday at 6:52 PM
is there any otehr way I could write that
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:52 PM
why do I feel both intrigued and sickened
why am I thinking about it
XilasCroweToday at 6:52 PM
I have corrupted you
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:52 PM
the heat is burning my brain and you're not hellping
magnadeusToday at 6:52 PM
rule 1d intensifies
ZenhottaToday at 6:52 PM
Now kiss
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:52 PM
what
flamingorelatedToday at 6:52 PM
http://firedawnfolder.wikidot.com/axolotl-nest
just go read it yourself
XilasCroweToday at 6:54 PM
it's going up someday
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:54 PM
"This is gon be the thing that Imma hopefully make longer then 1730
lots of exploration logs
2 new MTF's, plus Samsara action
also sex
lots and lots of sex
the first half od this scip is about sex"
XilasCroweToday at 6:54 PM
so start preparing your souls
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:54 PM
is this
XilasCroweToday at 6:54 PM
no that;s a different thing
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:54 PM
the draft you said
oh thank god
XilasCroweToday at 6:54 PM
the lead one is under all the links
"Raundāhausu"/ラウンダーハウスToday at 6:54 PM
@ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴ I could, yes
XilasCroweToday at 6:54 PM
that one is much different
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:55 PM
"3D Printed Spiders"
I'm interested
XilasCroweToday at 6:55 PM
oh yea that's there too
I like that one
haven't finished it
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:55 PM
but you are not the KENNETH M fellow to my understanding
ZenhottaToday at 6:55 PM
I have several questions
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:55 PM
unless you will write this post for KENNETH M
ZenhottaToday at 6:55 PM
1. Why a cowboy
2. Why
"Raundāhausu"/ラウンダーハウスToday at 6:56 PM
I will inform Kenneth M guy to write such a post
XilasCroweToday at 6:56 PM
cause "I;m gonna pump you full of lead" is a cowboy mood
ZenhottaToday at 6:56 PM
3. Repeat 2 400 times
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:56 PM
very good
XilasCroweToday at 6:56 PM
as for 2…
ƧӃƹȽƩɊȐѺŴToday at 6:56 PM
im sure KENNETH M will write an amazing post
XilasCroweToday at 6:56 PM
there is no explaination
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:56 PM
the fact that xilas has more sexual drafts than I have overall works makes me angry
ZenhottaToday at 6:57 PM
Big mood ^
XilasCroweToday at 6:57 PM
:P
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:57 PM
and I don't have enough brain mass rn to cover the difference
XilasCroweToday at 6:57 PM
just be glad you haven't found the other four yet
WerylliumToday at 6:58 PM
It's ok it's xilas he's never gonna post em
XilasCroweToday at 6:58 PM
shut
I post stuff /sometimes/
so far like once every 6 months
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:58 PM
I swear I want to respond to that
But my brain just doesn't work
ManhattenPrattenToday at 6:59 PM
Diana is in 19 trying to get that plagarism thing going again
Wait, 17
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 6:59 PM
:p
ManhattenPrattenToday at 6:59 PM
Yep
pastarasta1Today at 7:00 PM
:neutral_face:
【ＳｅｖｅｎｔｈＳａｍｓａｒａＳｐｉｄｅｒ】Today at 7:00 PM
Can't bring myself to go there
3D Printed Spiders Printing Printed Printers Printing Spider Printers Printing Spiders Printing Printed Spider Printers
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Keter3
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-X colonies are to be housed in Type-II Containment Terraria and fed twice a week. No non-anomalous 3D printers are to be brought near SCP-X instances. SCP-X colonies may be used as waste disposal areas, according to the containment officer's discretion.
Update: Under no circumstances is a colony of SCP-X allowed to exceed a population of 500,000 instances.
Description: SCP-X is an anomalous species of arachnid indigenous to Europe and North and South America.
SCP-X is capable of consuming all inorganic substances but subsists mainly on metals and plastics.
SCP-X instances internally process these materials and spin them into thread, which is used to construct SCP-X-1 instances.
SCP-X-1 are living entities that resemble and function as 3D printers; however, they match no known product. Once fully constructed, SCP-X instances will begin feeding SCP-X-1 biological material, which it will then use to "print" more SCP-X instances as their means of reproduction. As long as it is continually supplied with biological material, SCP-X-1 is capable of creating new SCP-X instances at a rate of one every 150 seconds.
A traditional colony of SCP-X will create one SCP-X-1 instance for every 25-50 thousand instances in the colony.
While SCP-X-1 resemble non-anomalous 3D printers and can be used identically to a traditional printer, many of the components of SCP-X-1 instances serve a secondary anomalous purpose, which include:
- Input/output and electrical ports which function as "mouths" for SCP-X instances to deposit biological material.
- A display screen which functions as SCP-X-1's eyes.
- Extruder functions that comprise as the intestines and anus of SCP-X-1 instances; processing and excreting biological matter. Instances are also capable of using this extruder as a crude form of locomotion.
- The area in which spools of filament would be stored has been replaced with an organ analogous to a stomach, capable of storing significantly more matter than should be able to fit within SCP-X-1.
- A cord which functions as a tail. If this cord is plugged into an electrical socket SCP-X-1's efficiency will increase by a factor of roughly three thousand percent.
SCP-X are additionally capable of re-purposing non-anomalous 3D printers into SCP-X-1 instances. The method by which they accomplish this is unknown.
Due to the method of SCP-X reproduction, physical changes and evolution happen frequently, with SCP-X and SCP-X-1 being able to adapt completely to a new environment within roughly four hours of SCP-X-1 being completed.
Addendum X-A:
On XX/XX/XXXX, one of the SCP-X colonies in containment reached an approximate population of 1,000,000 and began to act in a frenzied manner. All SCP-X-1 instances in the colony ceased printing, and were transported towards each other via cooperating SCP-X instances. As soon as the SCP-X-1 instances were within a meter of each other, the SCP-X colony began to weave them together, rapidly consuming and re-purposing the surrounding containment unit into raw materials.
The resulting arachnoid construction (dubbed SCP-X-2) was over three meters in height, and attempted to escape the site using an array of arachnid-based weaponry, creating new SCP-X instances at a rate of over 1,000 per second. As it traveled through the facility, the colony of SCP-X deconstructed the walls around it, re-purposing them into additional appendages and SCP-X-1 instances within SCP-X-2. The SCP-X instances created during this time were over six times larger than usual, and were composed of various combinations of organic and inorganic material.
SCP-X-2 was captured and re-contained several hours later. Based on its path of travel it is currently believed that SCP-X-2 was attempting to merge with a separate SCP-X colony in containment. The suspected colony underwent no changes in behavior during this time.
Following this incident SCP-X has been reclassified to Keter.
Ok so I don't know
This is a thing now
Read it, I guess
Gummy_Dragon, TheBlueHour does not match any existing user name,
AKFrost,
Nameless Mediocre,
Weryllium, and FloppyPhoenix does not match any existing user name for crit
Hail giant spider printer robot thing
Other stuff
<pie> no more liquid dinos!
8:14 PM <Laneous> involuntary breathing is also illegal
8:14 PM — calamitous1 holds breath
8:14 PM — pie holds breath
8:14 PM <XilasCrowe> You cannot stop the liquid dino
8:14 PM <pie> debatable
8:14 PM — calamitous1 passes out then breathes involuntarily
8:14 PM <Laneous> this is the plot of a INT-con article I'm gonna write, a kid get's a book that let's him bend reality to make laws in his town, antics ensue
8:14 PM <Proasek> In other news, I'm still the only person to have entered anything into the International contest
8:14 PM — pie passes out due to lack of oxygen
8:14 PM <Proasek> This pleases me
8:14 PM <XilasCrowe> S.D. got ahold of a prehistoric universe
8:15 PM <Laneous> Proasek: give me several seconds
8:15 PM ⇐ Balthazaar quit (~PI.13A532F9.84CE938.62A976FF|aazahtlaB#PI.13A532F9.84CE938.62A976FF|aazahtlaB) Quit: Leavin in search of burgers and tacos
8:15 PM <Proasek> Oil is actually the result of previous DayBreaks 001 events
8:15 PM Holy shit yes
8:15 PM Xilas, write that down
8:15 PM <XilasCrowe> Heck yes
8:15 PM It’s being written down
Testing of the info panes module Testing is complete, it works, no more touching unless you try to do something really cool.
Testing
TextTextTextTextText
Te st
t e s t number 2
Superscript
Subscript
#red|test#
test
Text
||| test |
footnote
line
height9
crap
test10[[/footnote]]
Behold11
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<weryllium> XilasCrowe you're honestly in the top 3ish authors that gives me the most hope for the site's future